Today marks the day before the day of the vote that the people of Riverview will cast to determine whether or not I will be the next senior pastor. It's been an incredibly long month of waiting, between the time when the announcement was made to the congregation that I would be the first candidate they would consider, until now. There has been a lot to consider, to ponder, and to think about. In a very real way, I'll be glad when the vote is over - regardless of the outcome.
One impression I have had over the past month is that I am unworthy of the ministry. I am such a sinful man, and my own growth in holiness seems so painfully slow at times. Who am I that I should be called to the ministry? The answer is, I'm a nobody, and I don't deserve anything, let alone the ministry. There's nothing about me that's any good or that is inherently useful for being in the ministry. But I guess that's the point, and it's what I have to keep telling myself. It's only by God's grace that any of us do anything. And so I attribute anything about myself that might be useful for gospel ministry to God and his wisdom and grace.
Also over the past month, there have been two verses in particular that I have been meditating on: "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." (Proverbs 16.9) and "The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD." (Proverbs 16.33) In our representative republic we feel like we have so much control over the process of selecting our leaders. We think we make the decisions, and people do what we say. But that's not true - God is the one who makes the decisions and determines rulers and kings and leaders. The same is true of our Baptist polity - we believe the congregation is king - they make the rules, select the leaders, etc. But the same is true of congregational government: God has the final say.
Whatever happens tomorrow, the decision will be the Lord's, whether the vote comes out positively or negatively. And since he loves me and is working all things together for my good, I can rejoice in whatever happens.