Grocery Shopping, Mountain Dew, and Sanctification

I had an interesting experience today that gave me hope for my own process of sanctification and simultaneously showed me how sinful I still am - or in other words, how much work God still has yet to do in me to make me more like Jesus.  It's an odd sensation to be sure, to have awareness of both parts of my nature so instantaneously and at the same time.

I've become the procurer of groceries around our house, and Sunday afternoons is my time to grocery shopping.  This week I went to Rainbow, since they had more of the foods that we like to eat on sale than Cub Foods, which is the food jobber I usually patronize.  One of the deals I took advantage of was the three Pespi product twelve packs for $10.99, which is a decent deal.  I placed the three twelve packs of pop on the bottom of my cart, underneath the rest of my groceries which were in the main basket.  After I collected my items, I proceeded to the checkout line.

When I got in line there was just one person ahead of me, so I proceeded to put my items on the conveyor belt.  When the cart was empty, I was able to see through the basket and saw the pop.  I had temporarily forgotten about it.  Usually you can have the cashier just scan one of the cases of pop and they will multiply it by three on the register so you don't have to lug up all three cases for them to scan each one.  Since I was behind someone else in line, I determined to just wait to bring the pop up off the bottom of the cart until it was my turn to check out.

When my turn came, I immediately moved the cart to the end of the checkout lane and began to bag the groceries the cashier had already scanned, while I waited to pay.  All of the food went through, and as the cashier gave me my receipt she happily told me that I had saved twenty-some dollars during my visit.  I was pleased.

I finished bagging the groceries and brought the cart out to my car and put the bags in the trunk.  As I lifted the bags out of the cart, the cases of pop were once again revealed, and I realized that I had never given the pop to the cashier, and was not charged for it.  I double checked the receipt to make sure.  I had indeed not been charged for the pop.

The notion of loading the pop up into my car and going home flashed through my mind for a fraction of a second.  "No," was the thought that came to mind just as quickly.  "I can't do that.  That's not honest."  I very quickly decided to take the pop back into the store and pay for it.  As I walked one of the twelve packs back into the store I was proud of myself for doing the right thing.  I reveled in my obedience to God.  "Some people would have just taken it without paying," I thought.  "Especially since no one is the wiser.  But I'm not like those people - I'm better than that."  I took the pop into the store, explained the situation, and paid for it.  The cashier I talked to said it happens all the time.

After reflecting on this experience, it's interesting to see the range of thoughts that I had, and what this reveals about my spiritual growth.  In one sense, it shows that I'm still a sinner even though I'm a Christian.  My very first thought was to just load it up as if it never happened.  I'm sure Rainbow wouldn't ever notice that it was gone.  It's a huge company that moves tons of food and dollars every day.  What's 36 cans of pop to them?  But that, of course, is not the point.  I still struggle with sin.  I still am tempted to do that which I know is wrong.

Secondly, this experience shows that I am being changed.  At one point in my life I would have taken the pop without a second thought.  It wouldn't have bothered me in the slightest.  I would have counted myself lucky.  Not anymore.  I know what is right and wrong, even if no one is there to keep me accountable.  Jesus has given me the ability to choose the right.

Thirdly, it exposes the painful slowness of my sanctification (my lifelong process of becoming more and more like Jesus and less and less enslaved to sin).  Even after I had determined to do that which was good and right, I took pride in my decision to do what was right.  I commended myself for being such a good person.  I also somewhat looked down on those who would not do the righteous thing I had determined to do.

It's interesting to see how little, seemingly insignificant situations like this expose the spiritual battle that's going on inside me.  I am justified before God and have the righteousness of Christ imputed to me.  In other words, in God's eyes, I'm righteous.  I am legally declared "not guilty" of sin.  But I do still sin.  This is what Martin Luther called "simul justus et peccator."  It's a Latin phrase which means something like "at the same time justified and sinning."  It's the paradox of the process of sanctification. We are justified before God - given a right legal standing - and yet we still sin.

Certainly my experience today wasn't monumental or earth shaking to any extent, but it was significant to me.  It shows me who I am, what I was, and what is still going on inside me.  There's still a lot of work left to be done in making me more like Jesus, and thank God that he's faithful to do it.

I Stood a Mendicant of God

I posted a few weeks ago about Steve Saint and his bad accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down.  He has since undergone surgery to relieve the pressure on his spinal cord and the paralysis has somewhat abated.  Here you can see how he has begun to regain some of his movement and strength in his limbs.

I've also talked on this blog about how much I appreciate Steve Saint and his insatiable appetite to be an innovator for the mission field.  The guy comes up with new inventions that help missionaries preach the gospel and do what they need to do on the mission field.  We need more guys like Steve Saint holding the rope for those going down into the well.  Actually, it's probably more accurate to say that Steve is not just holding the rope, but he's making a better rope.

Here's the latest update on Steve's recovery from his accident, produced by his company, I-tec.  This man's resolve and attitude throughout this process is inspiring and encouraging.  Rather than lamenting, or even learning to adapt to his new condition (let's face it: his life is forever changed; he's a 60+ year old guy who sustained a spinal cord injury - he won't ever be the same or be able to do those things he had done before the accident), he is instead looking for what God is doing in him through this accident. As you can see in the video, he's discovering things about himself and about God that he would have never known had he not been injured.  In a sense, the injury has been a blessing to him. Watch this video.  It's worth your six minutes.



The poem that Steve recites is as follows:

I stood, a mendicant of God, before his royal throne

and begged him for one priceless gift, which I could call my own.

I took the gift from out his hand, but as I would depart I cried, 

'But Lord, this is a thorn and it has pierced my heart. 

This is a strange and hurtful gift which thou hast given me.' 

He said, 'My child, I give good gifts. I gave my best to thee.' 

I took it home, and though at first the cruel thorn hurt sore, 

As long years passed I learned at last to love it more and more. 

I learned he never gives a thorn without this added grace:  

He takes the thorn to pin aside the veil which hides his face.

Pray for Yourself First

Every Wednesday (most Wednesdays, at least) I get together with two or three guys from the church just to talk about stuff.  The meetings usually last an hour or so and we talk about pretty much any and everything, although our conversations usually tend toward spiritual things, which makes sense, considering that all things are spiritual things.

Today's meeting was just with me and one other guy, as the other two couldn't make it.  One of our goals is to talk about things we're struggling with, and today my friend shared that he's having a hard time relating to his mom and dad.  He's grown a lot spiritually over the past four years, and some of the conclusions and beliefs he's come to don't necessarily jibe with what his parents believe.  He's tried to talk to them a few times, but most of the conversations haven't gone very well, and he and his parents tend to just avoid spiritual conversations now because they often lead to disagreement.  Needless to say, this has led to some frustration for him, and he's struggling with how to pursue a positive relationship with his parents.

During our Family Night meal at the park tonight, I sat down with him, just to kind of conclude our conversation from earlier.  I asked him how I could specifically pray for him and his relationship with his parents.  (This is something I've been trying to do recently - ask people how I can specifically pray for their needs.  People often just give the big picture of something that is happening in their lives and ask others to pray.  Nothing wrong with that, but I'd like to know some specific details of the situation I can be praying for in particular.)  His answer surprised me and convicted me.  He said that his primary prayer request for this situation was for himself - that he be obedient to the command to honor his father and mother.

Why was this surprising and convicting for me?  Because, instead of asking me to pray that his parents wise up; instead of asking me to pray that he have the "right words" to say to his parents; instead of asking me to pray that God change his parents' hearts; instead of asking me to pray that his parents be open to the truth; instead of asking me to pray for (fill in the blank), he asked me to pray for him and the way he interacts with and thinks about his parents.  This was convicting to me in that, instead of asking for his parents' faults to be dealt with in prayer, he first wanted me to pray for his own tendency toward sin - that his thoughts and motivations toward talking with his parents be pure and above reproach, and that the methods and words he used to talk to his parents were honoring and respectful to them.

And that's the way it should be, but we so often do not consider about our own needs in prayer (at least when it comes to sin).  Rather, we tend to ask God to change or do something in the people we have issues with.  Don't get me wrong: there's definitely nothing wrong with praying for a situation like this, and asking God to open hearts, give people the "right words", etc.  But what we often don't realize is that a lot of times those issues we feel are so important might have something to do with our own heart condition and sinful tendencies.  So we tend to pray like this: "God, change that person's heart; make that person see this or think this way; change that person's behavior."  Instead of praying for other people, maybe we instead need to pray for ourselves: that God would expose any sin in our lives that might be leading to unholiness or confounding the situation; or that God would show us how to be obedient to his word and to give us faith to trust him in this situation.

I've been blessed by the conversations I've had with these guys, and I thank God for the way he uses them to grow me in holiness.  I'll definitely be praying for this guy and his relationship with his parents...and myself too.