3 Year Old Guilt

Tonight on the way home from my parents' house after Thanksgiving dinner, I had an interesting exchange with my three year old son. Two weeks ago, after the first snow of the season, our whole family went outside to play in the snow as it fell. It was great snowman-making snow, so Jamie and I immediately went to making a snowman. It was the first one that I've made in probably 20 years, and it was Jamie's first snowman ever, so I was really enjoying myself. And I really played it up with the boy, talking about how cool this snowman was going to be, and how fun it was to pack all the snow together. By the time we had the three tiers of the snowman put together, my wife and daughter joined us in the front yard. I had just finished strategically placing the rocks that formed the snowman's face, and encouraged my daughter to take a look. As I had my back turned, Jamie jumped, kicked, and knocked the snowman down, landing on top of the rubble. Needless to say, I was a bit shocked. After all the work we had put in together building that snowman, I was absolutely not expecting him to just tear it all down in two seconds. I told him that I was kind of sad that he would do that, especially after all the hard work we put in on it together. He didn't seem to care, so I said I didn't really want to play any more. He was cold too, so we went inside, but I explained to him that he shouldn't just go knocking down things that other people have worked on.

Cut to tonight: on the way home from my parents', Jamie and I were driving and listening to music. During a quiet part, he said from the back seat, "Dad?" "Yeah, buddy," I said. He got quiet and said, "I'm sorry I knocked down your snowman." I had to think for a minute, and then remembered what happened a couple weeks ago. "That's OK, buddy. I forgive you." "Thanks," he said. He kept apologizing all the way home, and I finally told him that once someone is forgiven, they don't need to apologize anymore, which he seemed to understand. He finally suggested that he and I build another snowman tomorrow, and I agreed. Then he said, "And then maybe we can knock it down!" I agreed.

It's interesting that, even in a three year old, the conscience works and works. Even young children know when they've done something wrong, and they know that it's right to apologize. His conscience has been eating away at him for the past two weeks, and for whatever reason, tonight it led him to do something about it.

I can't wait to build another snowman!

Proclamation of Thanksgiving

By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consiousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the Unites States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

William H. Seward,
Secretary of State

Starting Over...Again

This blog got a facelift again. I've been wanting my sister to use her fancy-pants-graphic-designer skills to redesign my blog, but it seems like I never get around to asking her, so I just made my own template. Could be better. Oh well.

Over the past several months there have been several things that I've either thought about, or stuff that has happened either to me or to people in my life, and I've thought to myself, "Hmm. I should blog about that." But guess what - I never do. This blogging thing seems to be a discipline for me, and it's one that I really suck at. I do think it's valuable. It's a good avenue to get other people thinking about stuff that I'm thinking about, a way of creating conversation with people, a way to share about stuff to pray for, and I think blogging is just a good practice overall.

Hopefully I can stick with it on at least a semi-regular basis. If you read my "short, inadequate description of who I am," you'll find out that I'm in seminary full time, and work full time, and have young kids. It leaves me with barely enough time to breathe, let alone blog. But I'll give it another shot.

A lot of what I want to post on here is links to other great stuff that I find during my daily bustling about on the internet. I highly recommend the blogs listed to the right. There's some really good stuff there.

A Difficult Phone Call

Sitting in the church office this afternoon, I received a phone call that is somewhat typical. It was a man who was looking for spiritual counsel. Usually when someone calls looking for counsel, there's a catch: they're also looking for money or to have some kind of need fulfilled. That's fine, but not really something our church is equipped to handle, so I usually forward them on to Neighbors.

But the guy who called today wasn't looking for anything but counsel. He said that he was a Christian, and even a Baptist. He told me that he was ready to jump off a bridge, although not literally. He said that he had been trying and trying to do right, and read the scriptures, and do what he "was supposed to do," but it seemed like God wasn't doing anything for him. He said he didn't know what he could do, and that he didn't know where his kids were going to sleep tonight (they apparently were losing their housing).

There was quite a bit more that he said, although I'm not sure I ever got the whole story of what his problem was. What was certain was that he was unsure of his future, and he didn't know where to go from here. I told him that all I could do was ask him this question: is God sovereign? Does God have a will and a plan that he is working out for the good of those who love him? He answered, "Yes, of course." Then I said, "Then trust that plan. Trust that God is good. Trust that God loves you and cares for you, and that he will work things out in his own time and in his own way and in his own good pleasure."

I told him this wasn't necessarily an easy answer, but it was the only one that I had. He was obviously unsatisfied with my answer, because he just said, "Uh, thanks." And hung up.

First of all, calls like these are hard to deal with, because I had no idea who this guy was, what his background was like, or even what is specific problem was. But that being said, I think I can take two things away from this phone call: 1) there is a lot of bad teaching out there that says that if you just believe enough or do all the right things, that God will protect you, give you money, and success. This guy didn't have any of those, so he assumed that either he wasn't doing what he "needed" to do, or that God was being unfair. He was living in a quid pro quo relationship with God that said that God owed him something for the good things he had done. When this is your outlook, an answer like the one I gave him will definitely go down bitter.

2) Secondly, the answers to issues like the ones he presented are never easy to deal with, but they should never leave us hopeless. This man was utterly hopeless. He was at the end of his rope. The thought of an all-powerful, sovereign God on his side did nothing to bolster his confidence or give him hope, which is sad. Now, having an all-powerful sovereign God on your side doesn't make life easy, or difficult situations easy, but it does provide a large measure of hope. Hope that no matter what happens, I have a portion with the Almighty, and I have forgiveness of sins through his Son.

It is not necessarily easy to trust that God loves me and cares for me when my walls are crashing down, but it's what we must do. Because if we don't have that, then we don't have anything - especially when the walls are crashing down all around us.

I hope that guy can learn to trust God, because God's the only thing he's got. God's the only thing any of us have got. And if you can't trust him, you'll always be at the end of a rope.

Don't Waste Your Cancer

Just read this great article again. Here's the text, or follow the link for the article with commentary from others. So important to remember, especially as I think about the "Race for the Cure" that was held today.

Don’t Waste Your Cancer
John Piper
Desiring God

I write this on the eve of prostate surgery. I believe in God’s power to heal—by miracle and by medicine. I believe it is right and good to pray for both kinds of healing. Cancer is not wasted when it is healed by God. He gets the glory and that is why cancer exists. So not to pray for healing may waste your cancer. But healing is not God’s plan for everyone. And there are many other ways to waste your cancer. I am praying for myself and for you that we will not waste this pain.

1. You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.

It will not do to say that God only uses our cancer but does not design it. What God permits, he permits for a reason. And that reason is his design. If God foresees molecular developments becoming cancer, he can stop it or not. If he does not, he has a purpose. Since he is infinitely wise, it is right to call this purpose a design. Satan is real and causes many pleasures and pains. But he is not ultimate. So when he strikes Job with boils (Job 2:7), Job attributes it ultimately to God (2:10) and the inspired writer agrees: “They . . . comforted him for all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him” (Job 42:11). If you don’t believe your cancer is designed for you by God, you will waste it.

2. You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us” (Galatians 3:13). “There is no enchantment against Jacob, no divination against Israel” (Numbers 23:23). “The LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).

3. You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.

The design of God in your cancer is not to train you in the rationalistic, human calculation of odds. The world gets comfort from their odds. Not Christians. Some count their chariots (percentages of survival) and some count their horses (side effects of treatment), but we trust in the name of the LORD our God (Psalm 20:7). God’s design is clear from 2 Corinthians 1:9, “We felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” The aim of God in your cancer (among a thousand other good things) is to knock props out from under our hearts so that we rely utterly on him.

4. You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.

We will all die, if Jesus postpones his return. Not to think about what it will be like to leave this life and meet God is folly. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says, “It is better to go to the house of mourning [a funeral] than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.” How can you lay it to heart if you won’t think about it? Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Numbering your days means thinking about how few there are and that they will end. How will you get a heart of wisdom if you refuse to think about this? What a waste, if we do not think about death.

5. You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.

Satan’s and God’s designs in your cancer are not the same. Satan designs to destroy your love for Christ. God designs to deepen your love for Christ. Cancer does not win if you die. It wins if you fail to cherish Christ. God’s design is to wean you off the breast of the world and feast you on the sufficiency of Christ. It is meant to help you say and feel, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” And to know that therefore, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 3:8; 1:21).

6. You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about cancer and not enough time reading about God.

It is not wrong to know about cancer. Ignorance is not a virtue. But the lure to know more and more and the lack of zeal to know God more and more is symptomatic of unbelief. Cancer is meant to waken us to the reality of God. It is meant to put feeling and force behind the command, “Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD” (Hosea 6:3). It is meant to waken us to the truth of Daniel 11:32, “The people who know their God shall stand firm and take action.” It is meant to make unshakable, indestructible oak trees out of us: “His delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers” (Psalm 1:2). What a waste of cancer if we read day and night about cancer and not about God.

7. You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.

When Epaphroditus brought the gifts to Paul sent by the Philippian church he became ill and almost died. Paul tells the Philippians, “He has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard that he was ill” (Philippians 2:26-27). What an amazing response! It does not say they were distressed that he was ill, but that he was distressed because they heard he was ill. That is the kind of heart God is aiming to create with cancer: a deeply affectionate, caring heart for people. Don’t waste your cancer by retreating into yourself.

8. You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.

Paul used this phrase in relation to those whose loved ones had died: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). There is a grief at death. Even for the believer who dies, there is temporary loss—loss of body, and loss of loved ones here, and loss of earthly ministry. But the grief is different—it is permeated with hope. “We would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8). Don’t waste your cancer grieving as those who don’t have this hope.

9. You will waste your cancer if you treat sin as casually as before.

Are your besetting sins as attractive as they were before you had cancer? If so you are wasting your cancer. Cancer is designed to destroy the appetite for sin. Pride, greed, lust, hatred, unforgiveness, impatience, laziness, procrastination—all these are the adversaries that cancer is meant to attack. Don’t just think of battling against cancer. Also think of battling with cancer. All these things are worse enemies than cancer. Don’t waste the power of cancer to crush these foes. Let the presence of eternity make the sins of time look as futile as they really are. “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?” (Luke 9:25).

10. You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.

Christians are never anywhere by divine accident. There are reasons for why we wind up where we do. Consider what Jesus said about painful, unplanned circumstances: “They will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name’s sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness” (Luke 21:12 -13). So it is with cancer. This will be an opportunity to bear witness. Christ is infinitely worthy. Here is a golden opportunity to show that he is worth more than life. Don’t waste it.

Remember you are not left alone. You will have the help you need. “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).