Unrelated Things (That Are Somehow Related)

Today was an interesting day.  Most days are, but this one even more so.

Thursday is one of our "school days," which means that Ferguson goes to preschool for two hours and fifteen minutes.  This morning, as we were getting dressed and ready for school, I got a call from the Mrs.  She seemed a little verklempt on the phone, and she quickly explained that one of the students in the special ed. department where she works had passed away suddenly and unexpectedly from what appears to have been a seizure.  The student was not in her class, but was one that she worked closely with on a regular basis.  Knowing that I am a police chaplain for two different local departments, she asked if there was anything I could do to help the family, and I told her I could look into it, but probably wouldn't be able to until some time after noon.  More on that in a minute.

So the kids and I finished getting dressed and we went to school.  After dropping the Ferguson off at his class, Han and I made our way to church for Ladies' Morning Out, where I teach a class of ladies about the names of God.  This week's name that we were studying happened to be Jehovah Rophe - "The Lord My Healer."  A part of my lesson was about the difficult truth that God chooses sometimes not to answer our prayers for healing in the ways that we would like.  Sometimes he allows the ailment or injury to continue and linger on.  While this may be the case, it is also true that whatever God does is for the good of those who love him and have been called according to his purpose.  So if God doesn't answer our prayers for healing, we can take heart that God is doing something good for us.  We may not know what it is just yet, but it is a reality that we must trust.

Also, I told the ladies about how God sometimes heals people through death.  There are some prayers for healing that God does not answer this side of the grave.  Instead, he heals a person by allowing them to die and go to be with him, where there is no sickness, no cancer, no injuries or ailments.  This is the ultimate form of healing, as my friend Al Ahlquist told me one time before he died of pancreatic cancer: "Death is the ultimate form of healing."  It's a difficult truth, but one that we must come to terms with: sometimes God heals through death.

After lunch the Mrs. called and asked what I could do as a police chaplain to see what was going on with the family of her now deceased student.  I've been on a death notification call before and have a bit of experience with some of the processes around how the police and coroner's offices handle sudden deaths.  The Mrs. relayed that the child's father had been in contact with some people at the school and had implied that he could really use some counseling.  I ended up calling the city's police department and getting ahold of the chaplain that was assigned to the case.  He assured me that he would get in contact with the father and talk to him and perhaps even point him to a local church or ministry that could minister to him in this time of need.  I was glad that someone was able to help him, and that it turned out to be the same chaplain he had worked with when it was discovered that his child had died tragically.

The day before all this happened I had told the kids that we would go to the church to practice riding bikes in the parking lot.  We told the Ferguson that we were going to start trying to ride his bike with the training wheels off - a proposition that he wasn't necessarily excited about, but seemed willing to try.  Needless to say, the kids were looking forward to when Mom would return home so we could go bike riding.  The Mrs. returned home from work after an understandably long and heavy day, especially after telling the other students about the tragedy, but she sucked it up and we all piled in the car after loading up the bikes.

We got to the church and immediately had the Ferguson start trying to ride without training wheels.  He had the usual difficulties that kids have doing such a thing, but after a while he got the hang of it.  Pretty soon he was riding long distances like a champ, although he was still a little shaky.  His pride and joy were overflowing as a result of being able to ride his own two-wheeler!  It was a blast to see him get the hang of it, and then to really enjoy the fact that he was able to do what he was doing.  What a privilege for a parent.  We celebrated with supper at a local restaurant.  Below is a a short video record of the process.



In many ways, our day today was a dichotomy between the difficulties of death and the joy of life.  Combine that with the fact that my head was already full of all kinds of thoughts about death, sickness, and healing.  All of the news about death in our day today, combined with seeing the triumph and joy in my child's eyes as he learned to ride his bike presents a stark contrast that can make your head spin.

One family in the city mourns the tragic loss of a seemingly healthy teenage child, while another (mine) celebrates a new experience and triumph in the life of their child.

The Lord My Healer

During my prep time for my upcoming Ladies' Morning Out lesson this week, I've been doing some thinking about the name Jehovah Rophe.  This name for God comes from Exodus 15, when God commands Moses to put a log into some water that was bitter in order to make it drinkable for the Israelites.  All this took place in order to teach the Israelites that if they listen to and obey God, he would keep them free of the diseases that plagued the Egyptians, "for I am the LORD, your healer" (Jehovah Rohpe).

And then, in Numbers 21, the people are grumbling against God and against Moses about the harsh conditions of the wilderness, so God sends some snakes to bite them.  As a result, several people died.  The people ask Moses to pray to God and ask him to take away the snakes.  So Moses does, but God tells him to make an image of the snake that bit the people and put it on a pole.  All those people who have been bitten, God says, can look at the snake and be healed.

This raises some interesting questions.  Why did God choose to heal the people of their snake bites in this way?  Why didn't God just "snap his fingers" and have everyone be healed?  Was there something particularly cleansing or soothing about the bronze serpent on the pole that it had some medicinal effect?

No, God wanted to show them that he alone was their healer.  They needed him.  They were totally dependent on him and owed their very lives to him.  Without him, they would die.  Looking at the bronze serpent was a reminder that God sustained them, and it was his power that healed them.  It caused them to focus on him as their healer and sustainer.

Fast forward to our day in age.  We don't look at bronze serpents to be healed.  Instead, we go to doctors.  But God is still the same as he was back in the time of the Israelites in the wilderness, and he still has the same power to heal.  God could heal us of our ailments with a thought.  Then why doesn't he?  Why do we go to doctors?

There are some more-extreme brands of Christianity that believe that patronizing doctors and using medicine is a sign of disbelief in God's power to heal.  And there are some in the less-extreme brands of Christianity (such as the evangelical tradition) that believe something similar.  If God can heal, then why don't we trust him to do so?  Is it a sign if unbelief if we go to a doctor?

No, I don't think so.  I think doctors and medicine are the "bronze serpents" of our day and age.  Just as looking at a bronze serpent was the vehicle by which God healed the Israelites in the wilderness, so are doctors and medicine the vehicle by which God heals in our time.  But we need to remember that it is God who heals, and not doctors.  Just as the Israelites were to look at the bronze serpent and realize that it was God who sustained them and healed them, so are we to visit the doctor and remember that it is God who sustains us and heals us.

I once heard John Piper say that the reason that God gave us money was so that we could show the world that money is not our god.  That's a fascinating statement, when you think about it, and I think it also applies to the way we think about healing and medicine.  God has given us doctors to show us that he is the healer, and so we can show the world that we trust in God to heal, and not in doctors.  He is the one who makes healing through doctors and medicine possible.

If we were to visit the doctor and not give a second thought to God's healing power through doctors, we would be unwise.  It is only God's power that allows doctors to be able to do what they do, and it is only God's wisdom that enables medicine to be able to perform its healing function.  If he were not sovereign over doctors and medicine, they would be powerless to help us.  Doctors have no power to heal, and medicine no power to save without the power and will of God behind them.

So then, I believe Christians can and should go to doctors and use medicine, because it is the power of God at work in their lives.  It is The Lord My Healer manifesting his power and might in this world.  That being said, to visit doctors or take medicine without a recognition of God's power and sovereignty over said doctors and medicine is unwise to the point of sin.

When we're sick, let's go to the doctor; when we feel crummy, let's take some medicine.  Let's just not forget that it is Jehovah Rophe, The Lord My Healer, behind it all.

Should Christians Use Medicine?

Over the past few years I've become increasingly convicted that we as a society too quickly look for a quick fix when we undergo physical difficulties.  For example, there's a medicine or surgery that will prevent or fix just about anything out there, and it seems that people are ready and willing to receive everything a doctor says as gospel truth.  But are we missing something when we run to medical science to cure or treat something?

I've been convicted in that, while I don't believe medicine and medical science are inherently bad things, they can be used unwisely and even sinfully.  Our society - Christians included - seem to have forgotten that God is sovereign over illness and suffering.  So rather than attempt to discern God's purposes in an ailment, disability, or time of affliction, we instead just run to the cure as fast as possible.  We hurt, and our sole focus is to alleviate our suffering.  While we may feel better physically by taking medication or receiving treatment, relieving our suffering so easily and adequately may not be what's best for us spiritually.

This morning I saw this video posted on the Desiring God blog.  It's just a short treatment of some of the ramification of being dependent on medicine.  There is certainly quite a bit more that could be said on the topic, but this is an interesting place to start for those who have never considered the ramifications of living in a society that has prescription drugs on demand.  The video focuses on the topic of treating depression through drugs, but the principle is applicable to all ailments (for example, Ed Welch rightly says that depression, as well as cancer - and I would add any ailment - are spiritual issues).  Take a look.

Battling Depression ... Redemption, Medication, and Christ (CCEF; Ed Welch) from Desiring God on Vimeo.

Kids Make Dad Smile

This has been a rough week.  I've been sick and mostly out of commission since Saturday, and this is one of the busiest weeks of my year.  Next week I'll be at camp for almost the whole week, so needless to say, there's lots of work to be done.  I've had to work weird hours so as to not infect my coworkers while still be able to actually get some things done.  I haven't been home much, and I feel continually ill.  Ugh.  Like I said, a rough week.

Cut to tonight.  I get home from my meeting, and I found the following video, made for me by my wife and kids.



I've got a great family.

Being Sick Is Frustrating

A few days ago I posted about my unique red eye that wouldn't open all the way due to some kind of infection.  The eye doctor told me that it was most likely passed on to me from my kids after they spent five days with fevers.  The virus just chose to attack my eye, he said.  The eye stuff started on Wednesday.  I saw the doctor on Friday.  By Saturday I had a fever, swollen glands, a pounding headache, and a soar throat.  That continued through Sunday, and now into today.  And to top it all off my eye, although it is improving, is still tearing up like crazy.

Being sick is a pain in the rear for sure, if for no other reason than the misery of the physical condition it leaves one in.  It's not fun feeling flushed and having pain every time you swallow.  But what is more frustrating for me is the time lost by having to rest, take it easy, and heal from the disease.

I was so mad when I woke up on Sunday morning and was feverish.  Skipping church due to being sick is just not an option, so I struggled through it and went home early, and then proceeded to take a nap for pretty much the rest of the day.  That made it hard to sleep on Sunday night, so I couldn't fall asleep until after 2 AM.  I woke up at 7 AM, determined to go to a meeting that I had scheduled the week before, even though I still felt sick.  I pushed through the meeting, went to staff meeting at church, and the came home and took another 2 hour nap.  This is not efficient, as I'll be at camp next week, and I essentially have to do two weeks worth of work this week to make up for it.  After I woke up, I did as much work as I could from home, then went into church at 8:30 tonight to do some stuff I couldn't do from home.  What a pain.

I've been very frustrated all day.  I need to get stuff done!  I need to work!  I want to be with my family and kids!  This sick stuff is not fitting into my schedule.  A couple times today I thought about Paul's "thorn int he flesh" and how he asked God to take it away from him.  God's response, of course, was that his grace was sufficient for Paul, and that he should rest in that even in the face of affliction.  While I believe this, it's not easy to do.

I can definitely see that God is doing something in this particular illness.  Late August, among other times, is one of my busiest times of the year.  All of the fall ministries are ramping up, and there's a lot of stuff that needs to get done in order for them to kick off, and most of that stuff falls onto my plate.  I've put in a lot of extra hours, felt some anxiety, and sacrificed some family time in order to get things done.  I think it's a very real possibility that God is telling me to slow down, rest in his grace, and get a grip!  Again, although I know this is the message, it's harder to accept and apply it.

Looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight, and hopefully I can get a hold of what's going on in my life right now, turning that frustration into praise.

Don't It Make My Green Eyes Red?

Last week, right after my family returned from our yearly cabin retreat, both of our kids took ill with fevers.  It was a very strange bout of illness for the kids, as their body temperatures fluctuated up and down several times a day for five days.  We'd check their temp and it would be at 98.6.  Check it again, three hours later, and it would be 103.  Three hours later, back to normal.  That's the way it went for several days.  We even brought the kids into the doctor.  Their diagnosis: it's a virus.  Medicate with Tylenol and ride it out.  So that's what we did.

Cut to Wednesday of this week: my left eye began to water at some point in time during the day, I don't quite remember exactly when.  I didn't think too much of it, as sometimes my eyes water for whatever reason.  I'm a long-time contact lens wearer, so I'm used to some minor eye irritation from time to time.  But it got more strange as the day went on, in that the watering didn't stop.  In fact, about every two minutes I had to wipe a tear from my eye.  I still didn't think too much about it.

Thursday morning I woke up, and my eye was still tearing up like crazy.  And there was a new symptom: tenderness and redness.  My eye was turning a little red, and when I touched the top or bottom eyelid, there was just the slightest throb.  I still didn't think too much about it, and went about my busy day of Backyard Bible Club leading and planning, in addition to my regular work (it was a long day that started at about 9 AM and ended about 9 PM).  By the end of the day, it seemed like the tearing had ratcheted up a notch.  It was getting to be quite a pain in the butt.  My vision kept blurring from the tears, and I constantly had to wipe away the tears from my eye.

By the time I woke up on Friday morning (this morning) things had deteriorated significantly.  My eye went from being slightly red to mostly red, and there was more pain, both to the touch and if I scrunched my eye shut.  The tearing was still going strong, and by this time my eyeball had swollen up, and it was as though I could feel it bulging out of my face.  This caused my eyelid to not be able to open up as far as my right eyelid, giving me a bit of a weird look (in more ways than one), as you can see in the picture.

I decided that it was finally time to be seen by a professional, but being that it was the last day of Backyard Bible club, and that it was our closing day with a lot of extra stuff planned, I did not want to have to miss anything in order to go to the doctor.  The local eye clinic had no openings during the day, however, except at 10:40, which was right during the heart of the ByBC meeting.  I turned it down.  I then called four other clinics looking for the latest possible appointment time I could find.  The best I could do was 11:10 at the Bandana Square clinic.  Less than ideal, but it was the best I could do.  I certainly didn't want to live with this thing all weekend.

The eye doctor determined it was an infection.  After I told him that my kids were just sick with a virus last week, he determined that I had the same virus.  When I protested by telling him that my kids only had fevers and not eye problems (Jamie had a red eye for about a day - nothing nearly as bad as what I've got), he told me it didn't matter - the same virus attacked my eye.  He prescribed some drops, which I've used several times this evening.  As I type, my eye is very sticky, still swollen, and still tearing.  I guess the medicine hasn't totally kicked in yet.

This whole experience, along with several others throughout this week of ByBC has got me thinking about what God is either doing, or allowing to happen, in regards to some particular details of ByBC (more on that some other time).  In other words, there's something spiritual going on in all this.  Now to think about what that is.  I'm just glad the condition with my eye is contained and is treatable.  Thanks be to God for that, and that'll do for now.

Headache

It's been a while since I've posted on here.  In times past a week's absence from this blog usually meant another 8-11 months of no posting.  Not so this time.  I was out of town on vacation last week, sans internet, and since I've been back I've been overwhelmed with catching up on work.  Today I planned to post, but a headache that formed about 10:00 AM has been with me all day.  I don't get headaches too often, but when I do, they're doosies.

I also have what I consider to be a healthy fear of medicine, so after the Advil I took at noon (which did nothing) I've been medicine free until The Mrs. talked me into taking some Exedrine Migraine (which did all kinds of stuff) about an hour ago.  I'm starting to feel better.  

Being so overwhelmed with work, I knew I couldn't just leave today and take the day off due to the headache, so I searched out a couch at the church that I could lay down on and just shut my eyes for a while so I could get back to it.  Two hours later (!) I woke up, wondering if anyone at the church had seen me napping (I was the only one in the building when I fell asleep, so I'm hoping not!).  The nap didn't cut it, however, and my head was still pounding.  This evening basically consisted of me sitting on the couch, rubbing my head in between bouts of nausea due to the pain.  To top it off, both kids are sick too, and Ferg even went in to urgent care tonight (ear pain, 103 degree fever, and his left eye was red - nothing to be too concerned about, it appears).  It's now 11:06 PM and the pain in my head is just now starting to abate.  

Florida Trip: Day 3

Today marks our third day in the great state of Florida, and the second day of the Triennial Conference.  Lots of interesting stuff happened today.  Allow me to share a few things.

The day started out with the second session of the Triennial Conference, where Francis Chan once again brought the message.  You can read more about that here.  After his message there were some breakout sessions, and the one I attended was less than good.  Not that there was anything wrong with the topic or the speaker, though.  This has been the case at almost all the conferences I've attended.  The breakout sessions tend to be a little weak.  Usually the topic is something that is way more than one could ever address in the hour or hour and a half that is allotted.  It's just not possible.  Then the speaker spends 20 minutes giving his biographical information, and there's just not enough time to cover what needs to be covered.  You tend to leave a breakout session feeling like you've just scratched the scratch that's on the surface of the topic.  Today's breakout session was no different.

There was an NAB business meeting scheduled for 1:30 today, which I fully intended on attending.  This was not to be, however, as The Mrs. had to take The Hanburger in to urgent care.  On Monday night before we left, we noticed that Han had a loud, painful sounding, seal-like barking cough. She's had this kind of cough two other times in her life, and both instances were confirmed cases of croup.  But since she is a year older, and the cough wasn't that bad, we decided to just go with it.  She seemed fine Tuesday morning and on into Wednesday, still with a cough, however.  Today it got worse, though, and her breathing was starting to be affected.  Short, shallow, wheezy breaths.  So after a bit of looking online and a call back to our insurance provider in Minnesota, we brought her into a local Orlando clinic.  They confirmed an ear infection in her, and the possibility of either croup or pneumonia.  Either way, we caught it early so that it wasn't severe, and a good dose of antibiotics should clear it up, post haste.

Anyway, while The Mrs. and Han were figuring this out, Ferg and I stayed back at the hotel.  Since I couldn't bring him to the two and a half hour long business meeting with me, we decided to hit the pool (bummer!).  Check out the swimming picks here.  So after an afternoon of swimming, and five hours after they left, Han and The Mrs. returned to the hotel with a whole bunch of medicine and groceries (hotel food is crazy expensive!).  Soon after they returned I had to go to the next general session.  You can read more about that session here.


Also included in tonight's session was a brief performance by Mandy Harvey.  My mind was blown by this young lady and her incredible story.  I strongly encourage you to watch this video of Mandy's story, and then prepare to have your own mind blown when you listen to her sing.  She's having a concert tomorrow night that I will not miss.

Tomorrow brings a "free day" where conference attendees can do whatever they like.  This means, much to my chagrin, that we will be going to Disney World.  Why does the notion of my family going to Disney World not excite me?  That's another post for another time.

Sick Again

A few weeks ago I had some not-so-pleasant experiences. I was probably the sickest I remember being in my life. I think it was the flu, but I guess I'm not sure since I never went in to see the doc. Well, last night, my throat began to hurt during Greek class. By the time I got home it was killing me, and I was flying high with a significant fever.

This morning I was feeling terrible - more fever, really sore throat, and my head was killing me. My fever was up to 102. I finally relented and went to see the doc tonight. Considering I'm preaching this Sunday, I thought it was best. It turns out I've got strep throat.

I feel just aweful. My head's still killing me, I'm still flying high, and my throat still hurts. I've got some amoxicillin in me, and hopefully things will look better tomorrow.

This has certainly been a winter to remember.

A Week I Don't Want To Repeat

Whew. I'm coming off one of the longest, most trying weeks I think I've ever experienced. And it wasn't because of stress at work, a busy school schedule, or anything of the like. Instead, it's been a week where I've been the sickest I think I've ever been.

About a week ago I posted about the initial effects of my illness, thinking at the time that the worst was passed, and that I was on the mend. However, it was not meant to be.

In that first post I mentioned that I don't remember ever throwing up as much as I had over that six hour period. What I didn't know at the time was that initial illness would morph into something else, almost just as bad, except lasting for about another five days, and I have still not completely cleared myself of the effects of whatever it was that got a hold of me.

My initial symptoms began late Monday night and lasted into Tuesday morning of last week. I spent most of Tuesday sleeping and resting. Wednesday found my stomach to be a bit more stable, although I still did not have much of an appetite. Thursday morning, I felt a bit feverish and had somewhat of a wheeze in my breathing and a small cough. I had my first real meal since the whole ordeal started on Thursday afternoon. By Thursday evening I went to class, thinking I could tough out the two hours and keep my small fever in check. But by 5:00 PM Thursday evening my head was swimming and I was feeling flushed. I left class, drove home quickly, and took my temperature to find I was running a fever of 100.5 degrees. Chills set in then, and I couldn't seem to get warm as I lay on the couch under a thick blanket. This lasted most of the night, and I didn't get much sleep as my cough became progressively worse.

By Friday morning I was coughing so hard that I could feel the coughs reverberate through my body when they came, and the fever was still high. Saturday was essentially the same as Friday. Keep in mind that I thought I was on the mend after the vomiting ended Tuesday morning. But here I was on Saturday, feeling like garbage. I spent the day Saturday trying to break my fever with cool, moist cloths on my head and pounding Advil. It didn't seem to be working.

On Sunday morning I was determined to go to church, so I got dressed and set off, even though I didn't feel any better. During worship team rehearsal that morning, I was clammy, sweaty, and felt like I was going to pass out. As soon as rehearsal ended I retreated to my office to await the beginning of Sunday School. Thanks to the Advil I was able to make it through Sunday School, and was even able to play through the worship set. I went home right after the set was over, though. On Sunday afternoon I feverishly made my way through my Greek homework, coughing so hard that it began to damage my vocal cords. My voice began to go, and the fever refused to break.

By Sunday evening I was dumbfounded that the fever had not broken as of yet. I couldn't imagine lying around the house sick for another day. I was so sick of doing nothing; so sick of feeling week and feeble; so sick of being sick.

Monday morning came and there was a slight break in the fever, for which I rejoiced. Instead of 100.5, it was now at 99.5. I spent another day at home, which was probably OK, since there was a lot of noise at the office due to the construction at the church. I did a little work and spent a lot of the day sleeping.

By about 9:00 Monday night I was sweaty and clammy again, and this time the fever was actually beginning to break. I did everything I could think of to help it along its way out. On Tuesday morning, the fever finally broke, and I got dressed and actually went into work for the first time since Monday the previous week. As I type this, I feel pretty good, but I can tell my body is still weak, and I am easily tired. But I think I'm on the mend for good, now.

All in all, it was seven days of illness. As I said before, I can't remember ever being so sick in my entire life - at least not for such an extended period of time. And my body has still not fully recovered. But praise God that I seem to be healing.

So what did I have? I'm not totally sure, but I've got a few guesses. My first thought is that I had some form of influenza that caused the vomiting and diarrhea that I experienced on Monday night and Tuesday morning, into Wednesday. Then, I think that form of flu morphed into a different type that effected my respiratory system for the last few days. From Thursday to today, my only symptoms have been fever and severe chest congestion, along with weakness and body aches. I did some research on the interwebs, and it seems that the respiratory flu best fits my symptoms.

Why not go to the doctor? Well, I originally thought the bug was out of my system on Tuesday. When the other symptoms crept up on Thursday, I thought it would just be a minor complication of my previous illness. But now I think it was another full-blown type of disease that I had contracted. So by the time I came to this realization, it was probably too late to see the doctor for him to be any help, plus it was the weekend, and I wasn't about to go to urgent care or the emergency room.

One thing I've been trying to get better at is to take a theological look at my life experiences. In other words, what is God trying to tell me or teach me (if anything) through whatever it is I am experiencing. I spent a lot of time in self-examination over the past week, asking God what it was he would have me see or learn from my week-long bout of illness. I think I got some answers. More on that in another post some other time.

Needless to say, it's been a long week, and I'm glad that it's over. And I'm glad I have learned what I have. But all things considered, it's not a week that I'm wanting to experience again any time soon.

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Night

Last night I was the sickest I can ever remember being in my entire life. I threw up five times over six hours. It was awful.

At around 10:00 PM I remember feeling some minor stomach twinges. By about 10:15 I was at home and resting comfortably in my leather chair, and the twinges seemed to be getting worse. I went and changed into my pajamas and laid down on the couch and watched some TV to try and pass the time, and hopefully pass the stomach twinges. It didn't happen.

Around 1:00 AM I was feeling sick enough to maintain a vigil in the bathroom. I wanted to be ready if and when I ralphed, so I sat on the edge of the tub and read a catalogue. When I finally stood up, I felt the barf coming and got rid of it into the toilet. Little did I know that was just the beginning of my night.

I usually feel better when I throw up, like most people. After this time I felt better too, but only for about two minutes. As soon as I was done in the bathroom my stomach started to cramp up again, and I went into the bedroom and told Beetz what happened, and that I'd be sleeping on the couch. She brought me a blanket and a puke pail (no, not one of the kids). I tried to sleep, but it wasn't happening. My stomach was hurting and bloating like nobody's business, and around 2:30 AM came round two. After this round I waited for the usual feeling that things were improving after throwing up. Again, it was not to be.

Round three came at about 3:45, and round four around 5:00. I just could not seem to get whatever it was making my stomach so upset actually out of my stomach. By 7:00 AM, my mom had arrived to watch over my kids. Right when she walked in the door I told her that things were about to get ugly, and she might want to go into Ferg's room, which she did, and round five commenced. At approximately 7:30 I moved my nest down to the basement, so my mom and the kids could get going. By this time, things were finally starting to improve a bit.

I can't recall ever being this sick in my entire life. I do remember one time as a kid when I barfed a few times in a row, but never on an almost hourly schedule. I've heard that things are going around, but no one I've heard of who has been sick recently has had it this bad.

Perhaps the worst part of the night was that I couldn't sleep for more than 20 minute intervals. After each time I ralphed I would go and lay down quick and try to sleep, but the ralphing had gotten my system so worked up that it didn't want to sleep. By the time I actually fell asleep, my stomach was in such discomfort that it would wake me up so I could go empty out. I didn't really sleep at all until about 7:30 this morning. Blech. What a terrible night. Combine that with the fact that we had a terrible night at our house the night before this little adventure, and it's no wonder I'm sick!

So now it's 11:45 AM and my stomach seems to have calmed down a bit, although I don't plan on testing it. I think I'll fast today and just drink some water. No doubt I lost enough fluid with all the puking. I'm just glad the night is over.

Funny, Cute, and Gross Stuff That Happened Today

FUNNY: Every Tuesday my mom takes my kids to the local community center swimming pool, along with my sister and her youngest. They usually go swimming for a couple hours, and then head on over to McDonald's for lunch and some time in the playland. Today my kid was at the playland and told my mom he needed to go to the bathroom, which he went and did. A while later, after he had gone potty, my mom went into the bathroom and found a pair of underwear on the floor (this is normal behavior of Jamie - he doesn't really like to wear underwear). She confronted him and asked him if he took his underwear off and left it in the bathroom. He confessed that he did. When my mom insisted that he needed to wear his underwear, he said (in a very LOUD voice - loud enough for all in McDonald's playland to hear), "But I want to go commando!" "Going commando" is the state of being of not wearing any underwear, and it's a term we use frequently at our house. He's picked up on it, and uses the term quite a bit - even in public places, apparently. I wasn't there, but I was told the whole McDonald's playland was laughing.

CUTE: Each night Jamie sings some songs before he goes to bed. Every night he insists that we sing "The B-I-B-L-E" and we always do. I guess Han has picked up on this song too, because tonight she was singing the song like this: "Da B-I-B-I-B...Bibo!" Yeah, her spelling and pronunciation might need a little work, but it was pretty stinkin' cute.

GROSS: For some reason, my kids have a habit of coughing so hard that they make themselves throw up. I was in the basement tonight, taking a shower, when all of a sudden I heard a lot of crying coming from Jamie's room upstairs, and the I could hear the water pipes moving water to somewhere in the house. A closer listen led me to realize that the bathtub was filling up for some reason. This was at about 8:45 PM, which is 45 minutes after the kids' bedtimes, so a bath at this time of night was not usual. I came upstairs and the smell of hot barf met my nose as I walked down the hall. Jamie was in the tub, washing the puke off himself. His Turkey a la King was all over his bed, blankets (even his "blue blankey!"), and even a little bit on his stuffed Thomas. After he washed up I sat with him for a while, until we could find a replacement blankey while his regular one went into the wash.

All in all, having kids is awesome - even when they puke while you're in the shower.

Don't Waste Your Cancer

Just read this great article again. Here's the text, or follow the link for the article with commentary from others. So important to remember, especially as I think about the "Race for the Cure" that was held today.

Don’t Waste Your Cancer
John Piper
Desiring God

I write this on the eve of prostate surgery. I believe in God’s power to heal—by miracle and by medicine. I believe it is right and good to pray for both kinds of healing. Cancer is not wasted when it is healed by God. He gets the glory and that is why cancer exists. So not to pray for healing may waste your cancer. But healing is not God’s plan for everyone. And there are many other ways to waste your cancer. I am praying for myself and for you that we will not waste this pain.

1. You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.

It will not do to say that God only uses our cancer but does not design it. What God permits, he permits for a reason. And that reason is his design. If God foresees molecular developments becoming cancer, he can stop it or not. If he does not, he has a purpose. Since he is infinitely wise, it is right to call this purpose a design. Satan is real and causes many pleasures and pains. But he is not ultimate. So when he strikes Job with boils (Job 2:7), Job attributes it ultimately to God (2:10) and the inspired writer agrees: “They . . . comforted him for all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him” (Job 42:11). If you don’t believe your cancer is designed for you by God, you will waste it.

2. You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us” (Galatians 3:13). “There is no enchantment against Jacob, no divination against Israel” (Numbers 23:23). “The LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).

3. You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.

The design of God in your cancer is not to train you in the rationalistic, human calculation of odds. The world gets comfort from their odds. Not Christians. Some count their chariots (percentages of survival) and some count their horses (side effects of treatment), but we trust in the name of the LORD our God (Psalm 20:7). God’s design is clear from 2 Corinthians 1:9, “We felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” The aim of God in your cancer (among a thousand other good things) is to knock props out from under our hearts so that we rely utterly on him.

4. You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.

We will all die, if Jesus postpones his return. Not to think about what it will be like to leave this life and meet God is folly. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says, “It is better to go to the house of mourning [a funeral] than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.” How can you lay it to heart if you won’t think about it? Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Numbering your days means thinking about how few there are and that they will end. How will you get a heart of wisdom if you refuse to think about this? What a waste, if we do not think about death.

5. You will waste your cancer if you think that “beating” cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.

Satan’s and God’s designs in your cancer are not the same. Satan designs to destroy your love for Christ. God designs to deepen your love for Christ. Cancer does not win if you die. It wins if you fail to cherish Christ. God’s design is to wean you off the breast of the world and feast you on the sufficiency of Christ. It is meant to help you say and feel, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” And to know that therefore, “To live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 3:8; 1:21).

6. You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about cancer and not enough time reading about God.

It is not wrong to know about cancer. Ignorance is not a virtue. But the lure to know more and more and the lack of zeal to know God more and more is symptomatic of unbelief. Cancer is meant to waken us to the reality of God. It is meant to put feeling and force behind the command, “Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD” (Hosea 6:3). It is meant to waken us to the truth of Daniel 11:32, “The people who know their God shall stand firm and take action.” It is meant to make unshakable, indestructible oak trees out of us: “His delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers” (Psalm 1:2). What a waste of cancer if we read day and night about cancer and not about God.

7. You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.

When Epaphroditus brought the gifts to Paul sent by the Philippian church he became ill and almost died. Paul tells the Philippians, “He has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard that he was ill” (Philippians 2:26-27). What an amazing response! It does not say they were distressed that he was ill, but that he was distressed because they heard he was ill. That is the kind of heart God is aiming to create with cancer: a deeply affectionate, caring heart for people. Don’t waste your cancer by retreating into yourself.

8. You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.

Paul used this phrase in relation to those whose loved ones had died: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). There is a grief at death. Even for the believer who dies, there is temporary loss—loss of body, and loss of loved ones here, and loss of earthly ministry. But the grief is different—it is permeated with hope. “We would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8). Don’t waste your cancer grieving as those who don’t have this hope.

9. You will waste your cancer if you treat sin as casually as before.

Are your besetting sins as attractive as they were before you had cancer? If so you are wasting your cancer. Cancer is designed to destroy the appetite for sin. Pride, greed, lust, hatred, unforgiveness, impatience, laziness, procrastination—all these are the adversaries that cancer is meant to attack. Don’t just think of battling against cancer. Also think of battling with cancer. All these things are worse enemies than cancer. Don’t waste the power of cancer to crush these foes. Let the presence of eternity make the sins of time look as futile as they really are. “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?” (Luke 9:25).

10. You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.

Christians are never anywhere by divine accident. There are reasons for why we wind up where we do. Consider what Jesus said about painful, unplanned circumstances: “They will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name’s sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness” (Luke 21:12 -13). So it is with cancer. This will be an opportunity to bear witness. Christ is infinitely worthy. Here is a golden opportunity to show that he is worth more than life. Don’t waste it.

Remember you are not left alone. You will have the help you need. “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).

A New Hat

My wife and kid went to the Mall of America today and brought me home a present: a new hat. I'm pretty particular when it comes to hats. I don't like hats with stuff on them: advertising, slogans, or sports teams. Just plain for me, thanks. And blue. I like blue. Dark blue.

The last hat that I bought was probably three years ago. It has certainly seen its share of sweat and wear. My family keeps telling me how gross it is. But it's comfortable! The picture below is of my old hat next to the brand new one that I got today.


Believe it or not, they are the same hat: the same color, the same size, the same brand - everything. It's hard to believe they were once the same color. Here's the inside of both hats.


Notice the tag at the back that says "LIDS." One is brown, and one is white. OK, I guess it was time for a new hat.

Swine Flu Hysteria

OK, don't you think we've gone a bit overboard on this swine flu thing? I just heard about the swine flu for the first time this past Friday, and since then it's become a global pandemic. How did it balloon to such a huge problem in such a short time?

These folks suggest that Twitter is partly responsible. Certainly the media involvement can't be ignored either. I first heard about swine flu on the radio on Friday (for the first time in my life, that is!) and now it leads every major news broadcast. There are videos of people walking the streets in surgical masks, and a lot of people are scared about contracting the disease.

But how much of this is actually something to be worried about, and how much is just hysteria, fear mongering, and rumors? The LA Times posted some statistics on the swine flu about 45 minutes ago (11:15 am CST, April 27). So far there have only been 40 confirmed cases of swine flu in the U.S. and all of those have been mild cases, and only 1 of those forty cases has been hospitlaized (considering the population of the U.S. is over 300 million, I like those odds). The flu is easily treatable with common flu medications available by prescription.

There have been 103 deaths in Mexico that have been attributed to swine flu, but here's what the media isn't telling you about that number: only 26 of those 103 deaths has been confirmed as having been caused by swine flu! So far, out of a planet of more than 6 billion people, 26 have died, and that's a global pandemic? Isn't the regular flu technically more lethal than the swine flu?

The LA Times goes on to say that rumors of swine flu being reported in other countries are just that: rumors. There have been no confirmed cases other than in Mexico, the U.S. and Spain (two mild cases were just reported in Spain by travelers who just returned from Mexico). The World Health Organization says that the numbers being "bandied about" by the media are over inflated and not true.

It's amazing to me to see the inflated sense of hysteria that has occurred regarding the swine flu, if nowhere else than in the media. I guarantee that if you turned the news on right now, you'd hear about the global pandemic of swine flu, and see people walking around the streets wearing surgical masks. What, are they afraid they'll run into one of the 40 people who have the disease?!

This is just another instance of how people need to look for the facts before they decide how to react. It's also another example of how the news media doesn't always have it right, and certainly doesn't always portray an accurate picture of what's actually happening.

One Of Those Days

Today has been about the busiest, weirdest, craziest day I've experienced in a long time. Check it out:

7:15 AM - I wake up, get dressed, change Fergie's nasty diaper, and get him dressed as well.

8:15 AM - Ferg and I pick up my dad at Saturn of Inver Grove Heights after he drops his van off to get some work done. We bring my dad back to his house.

9:00 AM - Fergie and I arrive at the church. He proceeds to tear my office apart and I can't get any work done.

9:45 AM - I am scheduled to run the video projector during a funeral at the church this morning. The family arrives just in time for me to test everything before the viewing.

10:15 AM - I leave Fergie with Gail (the church secretary) so I can go pick my dad back up and bring him back to Saturn so he can get his van back.

11:00 AM - I arrive back at the church, grab the Fergeson and head to the nursery where we will meet my dad so he can watch Fergie while I'm doing my thing at the funeral. The funeral begins.

12:20 PM - I sneak out of the funeral to go check on Fergie and my dad in the nursery to find Ferg passed out in my dad's arms. Cute, but nap time isn't till 1:00! I abandon hope of Fergie taking a normal nap.

12:45 PM - The funeral finally ends, and Fergie and I eat some lunch and head home for nap time. Much to my surprise (and delight), Fergie falls asleep pretty quickly and sleeps for a solid two hours, starting at about 1:20 PM. The next two hours are pretty peaceful, and I manage to squeeze some Wii time in.

2:50 PM - Betsy gets home from work, and has brought a pretty significant headache home with her as well. She doesn't feel good. She had plans to for her and The Fergeson to go to the adaptive (special ed.) sports tournament tonight so she could see her former students, but since she's not feeling well, she canceled.

4:30 PM - Knowing I have to get at least some work done today, I decide to head back into the office. On my way in, I get a call from Kerry Kern, asking me to help him reset the platform for tomorrow's Good Friday rehearsal. I agree.

5:10 PM - Betsy calls my cell phone to tell me that Fergie just puked up his supper all over himself and the couch (did I mention that he has been running a 101 fever since last night?). Considering her sensitivity to certain smells during her pregnancy, she can't even enter the room where the event occurred without gagging. She asks if I would come home from church to clean it up. I agree.

5:30 PM - I'm cleaning up half chewed chunks of hot dog and crescent rolls off my couch. I take Fergie's pants outside and hose the puke off of them.

6:00 PM - I finally get back to church, and start working.

6:15 PM - I find myself blogging about how busy I am, and how I don't have any time to get my work done.

We'll see what the rest of the night holds...

The Whole Story

I recently read an article about the marking of World's AIDS Day which occurred a few weeks ago. Apparently as part of the activities there was a forum on global health that was hosted by Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback church in California. The article went on to talk about President Bush's activity in the PEPFAR (President's Emergency Plan For AIDS Relief) program, and how under the Bush administration, an estimated 10 million lives have been saved due to PEPFAR funding since 2003. 10 million! In his introduction of the president, Warren said, "No man in history, no world leader, has done more for global health than President George W. Bush." That's an astounding and weighty endorsement. The article's author goes on to say that he personally visited Rwanda in the past year and was able to see the impact that the PEPFAR program was having first hand. He says, "...I saw evidence of PEPFAR’s work everywhere. Its importance to Africa’s efforts in the fight against AIDS cannot be overstated."

As I read the article, I was amazed and confused at the same time. Amazed, because I was impressed with the positive results that the program has been having in AIDS ridden countries of the world. Confused, because this story has not hit the major news media. Why in the world is this not front page news? Why are these statistics not leading the top of the broadcast news? 10 million lives have been directly affected! Countless number of lives have been radically changed and given hope due to this program.

Working in ministry, I have a personal philosophy that states that I will never miss an opprotunity to brag about the things I am doing in my job. In other words, if I have a chance to tell people about the good things that are going on in the ministry of the church, I will always jump at that chance. I consider it a part of my job to make known the way God is working in and through people for his glory. Considering all of the bad news in the world and America today, you'd think the media would jump at the chance to brag about something good that our country is doing...but they haven't.

Why not? You already know the typical right-wing answer I'm going to give: media bias. Think about it, why else would this not be reported? There's absolutely nothing negative about it. In fact, everything about the story is absolutely fantastic news. The only reason I can see for not reporting this story is that the mainstream media doesn't want to credit President Bush with ANYTHING positive. They only want to shoot him in the back as often as possible, and have thus completely ignored this story.

Also, I find it interesting that the author of the article I read was one Cameron Strang, editor of Relevant Magazine. I have posted in the past about how Strang tends toward the liberal side when it comes to social issues, and how he accuses the Right of not caring enough when it comes to things like poverty and fighting disease. In fact, here are Strang's words: "However, and this is where many on the right miss it, the example Jesus set for us to stand up for the defense of the innocent does not end at birth. Just as they do for abortion, Christians should be on the forefront of standing against things that take millions of innocent lives around the world every day - systemic poverty, preventable disease, unnecessary wars, slavery, genocide. The list goes on." And now we have Strang writing about how no one else in earth's history has done more for AIDS than George W. Bush (who by the way, is a republican). Apparently those on the right DO get it, Cameron!

This brings up another point: there has been a liberal tendency when it comes to social issues in the ranks of up and coming evangelical Christians who echo Strang's comments that conservatives don't care enough for social issues. What do they say about this story? I'm not trying to justify any one particular political group here, but those who say that conservative Christians don't care about social issues are flat out wrong, and this story helps to prove it (not to mention the fact that Christians dominate the statistics when it comes to standing up for social justice in EVERY area. Christians are the ones who build hosptials, open shelters, feed the hungry, treat the sick, etc.).

All this leads me to a question that I don't know the answer to: is it possible that many thousands of Christians voted for Barack Obama in this past election based upon the errant observation that conservative Christians don't care about social justice? If so, they were uninformed, because conservative Christians certainly do care about social issues as evidenced by this story. Also, if such Christians made their electoral decisions based upon the seeming lack of compassion by conservatives, then that means their thoughts were influenced by a biased media that refuses to report on stories like this. Why would they not report on it? Because if they did, people would see that conservative Christians really are compassionate, and DO care about social justice, and would therefore not choose to elect the Messiah of the mainstream media: Barack Obama. Take for example the title of Strang's article: "Bush's Unexpected Legacy," referring to the fact that he has done more for global health than any other individual in history. Why does Strang find this legacy as being "unexpected?" Because he has listened to ridiculous rhetoric and bought into the fact that conservatives don't care about people, which is simply not true.

It's time for people to wake up and make their decisions based upon what is actually happening, and not just on what the media says is happening. Start thinking for yourself and stop letting others think for you!

Bat Coffee

WARNING: if you have a weak stomach, this post may not be for you. If you want to continue reading, don't say I didn't warn you...

I heard this story on the radio this morning and thought it was too disgusting not to write about. A woman in Iowa sets her coffee maker every night to automatically turn on and brew coffee in the morning. So one evening she set her coffee maker and went to bed. The next morning she woke up and had her coffee as usual. That evening, as she was setting her coffee maker again, she was cleaning out the filter and noticed that a DEAD BAT was stuck in the coffee filter. That means that the bat got stuck in the filter, and DIED there while the coffee brewed. Little did the woman know that she was drinking dead bat coffee the following morning! When the woman discovered the bat, she immediately contacted the health services folks and is being treated for rabies.

And now for the most disgusting part of the story (as if finding a dead bat in your coffee and realizing you drank it's dead body juices with your morning coffee wasn't disgusting engouh): when they sent the dead bat to a lab to analyze its brain to see if it did have rabies, scientists couldn't tell, because the bat's brain was TOO COOKED for them to determine if it was sick! So the woman drank dead bat brain juice coffee for breakfast that morning. Nummy.

Sick.

It's official: being sick blows. I don't think it's feeling gross that bothers me, it's more the lack of feeling normal. You don't know how good normal is until your condition is sub-normal. This is day three. I think I'm on the mend, but then again, that's what I thought yesterday too.