Pray for Yourself First

Every Wednesday (most Wednesdays, at least) I get together with two or three guys from the church just to talk about stuff.  The meetings usually last an hour or so and we talk about pretty much any and everything, although our conversations usually tend toward spiritual things, which makes sense, considering that all things are spiritual things.

Today's meeting was just with me and one other guy, as the other two couldn't make it.  One of our goals is to talk about things we're struggling with, and today my friend shared that he's having a hard time relating to his mom and dad.  He's grown a lot spiritually over the past four years, and some of the conclusions and beliefs he's come to don't necessarily jibe with what his parents believe.  He's tried to talk to them a few times, but most of the conversations haven't gone very well, and he and his parents tend to just avoid spiritual conversations now because they often lead to disagreement.  Needless to say, this has led to some frustration for him, and he's struggling with how to pursue a positive relationship with his parents.

During our Family Night meal at the park tonight, I sat down with him, just to kind of conclude our conversation from earlier.  I asked him how I could specifically pray for him and his relationship with his parents.  (This is something I've been trying to do recently - ask people how I can specifically pray for their needs.  People often just give the big picture of something that is happening in their lives and ask others to pray.  Nothing wrong with that, but I'd like to know some specific details of the situation I can be praying for in particular.)  His answer surprised me and convicted me.  He said that his primary prayer request for this situation was for himself - that he be obedient to the command to honor his father and mother.

Why was this surprising and convicting for me?  Because, instead of asking me to pray that his parents wise up; instead of asking me to pray that he have the "right words" to say to his parents; instead of asking me to pray that God change his parents' hearts; instead of asking me to pray that his parents be open to the truth; instead of asking me to pray for (fill in the blank), he asked me to pray for him and the way he interacts with and thinks about his parents.  This was convicting to me in that, instead of asking for his parents' faults to be dealt with in prayer, he first wanted me to pray for his own tendency toward sin - that his thoughts and motivations toward talking with his parents be pure and above reproach, and that the methods and words he used to talk to his parents were honoring and respectful to them.

And that's the way it should be, but we so often do not consider about our own needs in prayer (at least when it comes to sin).  Rather, we tend to ask God to change or do something in the people we have issues with.  Don't get me wrong: there's definitely nothing wrong with praying for a situation like this, and asking God to open hearts, give people the "right words", etc.  But what we often don't realize is that a lot of times those issues we feel are so important might have something to do with our own heart condition and sinful tendencies.  So we tend to pray like this: "God, change that person's heart; make that person see this or think this way; change that person's behavior."  Instead of praying for other people, maybe we instead need to pray for ourselves: that God would expose any sin in our lives that might be leading to unholiness or confounding the situation; or that God would show us how to be obedient to his word and to give us faith to trust him in this situation.

I've been blessed by the conversations I've had with these guys, and I thank God for the way he uses them to grow me in holiness.  I'll definitely be praying for this guy and his relationship with his parents...and myself too.

Spiritual Gifts Vs. "Natural" Talents and Abilities

Listening to Wretched Radio during my shower tonight brought about some thinking about the topic of spiritual gifts.  This past January I taught a Sunday School class about what it means to be the Body of Christ, and one of the topics we covered (briefly) was that of spiritual gifts.  God gives believers spiritual gifts for the purpose of building up the body.  That is, God gives Christians certain abilities that they are to use for the purpose of strengthening, encouraging, and building up other Christians.  The purpose for this upbuilding is so that Christians can grow in holiness, and can unite in ministry, both in service to each other and in service to the world by means of preaching the gospel.  During the class a question was brought up about how we can differentiate between spiritual gifts and natural abilities.  My answer to this question was that spiritual gifts are those things which God gives his people for the reasons listed above, stated generally as being for the building up of the body.  These can be differentiated from natural abilities, I argued, in that natural abilities become spiritual gifts when used for the purpose building up the body.

Todd Friel presented a similar approach, but with an important twist, and I think I like his approach better than the one I gave.  He asserted that natural abilities don't necessarily become spiritual gifts when used for ministry in the church.  Instead, the use of such abilities become a spiritual gift as they are used for ministry.  Allow me to clarify.

Take music, for example: a person can develop a musical ability at a young age, even before conversion.  This talent can be cultivated and grown over the years until that person is completely proficient in a particular instrument or type of music.  Then, the person becomes a Christian and begins to use the talent within the context of the church and for the benefit and edification of members of the church.  Is music this person's particular spiritual gift?  We have to say no, because the person was "gifted" with music prior to conversion.  Scripture teaches that spiritual gifts are given at the point of conversion, so in this case, the spiritual gift in question can't be music.

But, Todd Friel argues, the ability to use music in the church could perhaps (and I think probably is) the person's spiritual gift.  There's a significant difference here.  The person would be musically inclined even if he or she were never converted.  The person's ability to use music for the building up of the body, however, can definitely be an ability that he or she doesn't have until conversion - until God has gifted it to him or her.  In this sense, this person's spiritual gift wouldn't be music, but would be using music for ministry.  This understanding holds when we consider people who are definitely musical but don't use their musical abilities for the edification of the church.  It doesn't mean they're stinky musicians, or that they're disobedient in not using their musical skills for/in the church; it just means that their gift isn't to use their musical abilities for building up the body.  God has gifted them with something else.

I think a lot of people struggle over what their spiritual gift is, and particularly when it might be related to something they've done or been good at their entire lives, like music.  Maybe we just need to reframe the ways in which we look at those things that people are already doing in the church; maybe we just need to look at what people are doing in the context of how they're using it for the body.  It might not be a matter of them gaining a completely new skill, but rather a shift in how they view their use of those talents God has already given them.  I could see this as being rather freeing for people who can't seem to find their place in the church, or how they can plug in and serve others.

As I said earlier, I like this approach, and I think it's time to start thinking about spiritual gifts in this way.

Precious in the Sight of the Lord

The title of this post refers to Psalm 116.15, which reads in its entirety, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints."

I received an email notification tonight that Norm Glewwe, a pillar of faith and leadership at Riverview Baptist Church passed away.  Norm had been battling cancer for, I think, a couple years now, and God finally saw fit to ultimately heal him of his ailment.  I've been reflecting on Norm and his life (what I know of it at least) tonight, his ministry in the church, my own interactions with him over the years, and mostly how the process of his death has affected his family.  I've stated before how I've recently developed a friendship with Matt Glewwe, Norm's youngest son.  Matt and I grew up together in the church, although we were never friends until more recently.  We found that we had a lot in common, given that we were both false converts throughout the majority of our lives, and only more recently came to be genuinely converted.  A lot of my reflection on Norm's life and death has been in the context of my relationship with Matt.

Norm and Matt lay carpet squares during
Phase 1 of the Century 2.2 Project.  Note
Norm's bald head, as he was doing this
work during his cancer treatment process.

But I do have quite a few memories of Norm as well.  Norm was one of a few guys who volunteered to lead the Boys Brigade program when I was a young boy.  I remember him calling the boys to "fall in," and we'd all stand in our age-appropriate groups, which when they all came together, formed a square.  Norm would then call out, "Attention!" and we'd all stand at attention.  When our postures were all to his liking, he would call out "At ease," and we would relax, separate our legs, and put our hands behind our backs.  Boys Brigade was a great time for me when I was a kid.  I don't recall ever having Norm as one of my direct leaders (I think he was the Battalion leader, the group for teenage boys), but he was a big part of my Boys Brigade experience as a kid.

I also remember Norm as being a guy who was constantly involved in leadership at the church.  He served on several boards and committees, and even chaired the Church Council a few times - a position he held at the time of his death.  He definitely had a lot of experience that gave him insight into the business matters of the church.  For instance, I think I can soundly say that Riverview's recent building project would not have gone as smoothly as it did, had Norm not been a part of it.  He was a wealth of knowledge and experience, and had several contacts within the construction and architecture fields.  Even when Norm was in the midst of battling cancer, he was getting his hands dirty and helping out wherever he could.

Norm and his wife Barb also spent some time on the mission field when they were younger (Cameroon, maybe?)  Norm recently relayed a story to me about always being able to get liver to eat on the mission field.  Recently Matt and I split a portion of a side of beef with one another, and Norm offered to take the liver, since neither Matt or I wanted it.  He said that he had always had liver as a kid, and that, on the mission field, whenever there was beef to be had, all the "good" cuts were bought up quickly by the locals, leaving only undesirable parts of the animal left, like the liver.  Norm said that he always got the liver, and since he liked it as a kid, he always enjoyed in on the mission field.  Pretty soon the locals (who apparently never considered eating the liver) asked him what he was doing with it.  When he told them he was eating it, they became curious and tried it for themselves.  They soon found out they liked it, and pretty soon when the beef came in and was bought up by the locals, Norm found himself without the liver too!

Norm and Barb were the most faithful Sunday School teachers I've had as volunteers during my tenure as the Pastor of Christian Life and Growth at Riverview.  They taught the 4-6 year old Sunday School class every week up until just a few months ago when Norm's health wouldn't allow him to get up and around as much as he had previously.  Their dedication to some of the youngest kids in our church will certainly have a long-term influence on the spiritual destinies of those they ministered to.  Speaking for myself, my Sunday School teachers that I had at young ages were instrumental in the process of my coming to faith.  I believe it was the foundation that was laid in me as a child through my early spiritual education that God ultimately used to draw me to repentance and faith.  By God's grace, this will be the case for many of the kids whom Norm and Barb have taught over the past 10 years.

Norm's condition had been worsening for a while over the past few months, and I think he and his family knew that they were coming to the point of his death.  This was certainly made evident over the past two months or so.  Throughout all of this process I have had the chance to interact with Matt about what he was thinking about his dad's decline, and how he was praying through the whole situation.  Matt recently told me that he was at peace with the whole thing, and that he was actually encouraged through the process of watching his dad slowly decline, because everything he was reading in scripture about life and death screamed out hope, and served to accentuate the promises of God.  Indeed, this is truly a monumental theme in scripture, and it is one that we can all latch on to.  We are not people without a hope!  We have a faithful God who is not slack in keeping his promises.  They are so sure that we can even die in confidence.  It has been a blessing for me to be able to talk through some of these things with Matt.

As Matt and I have gotten to know each other more and more over the past few years, so have our families.  My kids know his kids.  Tonight I explained to Han and Ferg that their friend's grandpa died today.  Jamie said, "Oh no," in a genuinely concerned tone.  But then I got to tell him the good news that this wasn't the end for Norm, and that instead of living here, now he gets to go and live forever with Jesus.  We ended the conversation by praying for Norm's grandkids.

I started this post by quoting Psalm 116.15, which when examined in context, seems a bit out of place.  The psalm talks about how the world is closing in on David and he is near death.  He calls out to the Lord, and God miraculously delivers him from his near-fatal circumstances.  His life is restored, and he honors God as being the one who is able to do all things, including save him from death.  Then, in verse 15 we get this: "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints."  Huh?  The whole psalm is about how God rescues David from death, and how grateful David is to God for preserving his life, and then "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints"?  How does that fit?  Here's how I think it fits:

David realizes that his life is totally and completely in God's hands - God can sustain his life, or he can take it away.  In David's case, God preserved his life and allowed him to live.  For this, David praises God.  But, had God chosen not to preserve David's life, he would have died.  I think David's saying he would have been OK with this.  In fact, if he had died, David says "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints."  It's a general recognition of God's common grace, and God's sovereignty over the affairs of life.  Only when we realize that God is who he is, and he does what he does because of who he is, can we look at life - and death - and be OK with it.  Should we pray that God would preserve life?  Of course, and we should praise him when he does.  Should we curse God when he does not?  No, because God is sovereign, and if we realize that, then we can affirm that "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints."  When we realize God's sovereignty and good purposes that he works out for his good pleasure, the whole ideas of life and death seem to be somewhat puny.  What is life and death compared to the sovereignty of an all-wise God?  He can and will do as he pleases, and he always does everything for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  So then, if God preserves life, we praise him; if God takes life, we praise him, and we say, "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.

Verse 16a says, "O Lord, I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant."  We submit and glory in God's perfect will for our lives (and deaths), and God delights in those who will trust in his word, even and especially in the dying process.  I believe Norm Glewwe was a servant of the Lord, and that his death was precious in God's sight.

Session 4

Today's morning session was brought by Cam Roxburgh, Director of Missional Initiatives for the NAB (not sure if that's his specific title, but it's something like that).  Here are some thoughts he had during his sermon this morning that I deemed as being worthy of some further pondering.

"Our methods need to change because our culture shifts.  Our message needs to change because we’ve drifted from the truth."

"Every church, a church planting church.  Every Christian – every follower of Christ – understanding that we are the sent ones." (he didn't say it, but this sounds like the vision for his arm of ministry in the NAB)

"In our vision, we’ve started with the church and finished with God.  We’ve asked, ‘What works?’ instead of ‘What’s right?’"

"That’s what being missional is all about – that you and I, in all of life, witness to what he is all about."  

"We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I?’  We ask each other, ‘Who are you?’  And through answering these questions, we’ve drifted."

"The fact that we are a chosen people speaks to our beginnings – our identity."

"Your primary identity is not in your biological family, but in your spiritual family.  Not in your father, but in the fact that Yahweh is your dad."

"The question is not ‘Who am I?’ but ‘whose are we?’"

"All of the ways in which we used to identify ourselves – our color, social status, family, etc. – are gone.  The only way we identify ourselves now is in Christ."

"We have a wonderful opportunity in the midst of a people who desperately need and want community.  We can be the people of God in their midst and testify to what he is all about."

"Do not put being right above relationships.  Do not put being right above the restoration of relationships."

"People in the world define their lives by saying their purpose is to eat, drink, and be merry.  The problem is that I’m not sure we’re that different."

"The Father sent the Son.  The Father and Son sent the Holy Spirit.  The Father, Son and Holy Spirit send us."

"We cannot understand the church unless we realize that the purpose of our whole being is to be sent."

"I’m not for the attractional church.  But I am for the church being attractive."

"The disciples introduced their friends to Jesus.  They didn’t invite them to church."

"Introduce people to Jesus.  The Lord will take care of getting them into the church."

"Missional is a renewed theological vision so that in every aspect of our lives we bear witness to a God who is on a mission."

Florida Trip: Day 4

Today was the free day of the Triennial Conference, and my family chose to go to Disney World.  We left by about 8:30 this morning and arrived to at the park around 9:00.  After paying the hefty parking fee we rode the monorail into Disney World and started riding rides, having fun, and dropping money like we had holes in our pockets.  We took 294 pictures today, all of which we obviously can't post.  But for a brief selection, see here.

Jamie and Beetz get ready to take off on Dumbo.

We started out by riding the Dumbo ride, and then went on to Winnie the Pooh.  After that we moved on to do It's a Small World, and a few others that I already don't remember (I'm totally shot).  I do remember two rides significantly: Peter Pan and Pirates of the Caribbean.  I remember the Pirates one because it was an absolutely horrible decision to have Hannah go on that.  She was really scared.  The ride was really dark and had some skeletons in it, and at one point there was a pirate ship "shooting" canons at our boat.  I think that's what freaked her out the most.

I thought the Peter Pan ride was the best one we went on all day.  You start out in a ship that's on a track, and as you go along, you can see that the track eventually ends.  I was actually kind of nervous as I saw our car moving towards the end of the track, but we weren't slowing down.  As the track ends, the ship sails up into the air and spends the rest of the ride taking you all over the place from a track on the ceiling.  It was rather unexpected, and the rest of the ride was visually stunning.

Han was really excited to see Cinderella's castle.

It was somewhere between 90-95 in Orlando today, so needless to say, everyone was really hot and sweaty as the day wore on.  One thing that Disney World does well is air conditioning: all of the ride waiting areas are air conditioned, which is kind of strange, considering that none of them are enclosed - it's just cool air going right outside (something that would drive my dad nuts if he were ever there: "We're not paying to cool down the outside!").

Considering Han's recently diagnosed illness, and since both kids were up half the night coughing last night, the day got kind of long pretty quick.  There was some whining and crying, but I think the kids enjoyed themselves well enough.  We got back to the hotel room tonight, ordered pizza, and the kids were out like lights.

Now for some of my personal thoughts about Disney in general.  All my life I’ve heard about how great Disney World/Land is, and how life-changing of an experience it is to there.  Well, I never got to have that experience – until today.  Growing up in a family of modest means, we never had the money to go on vacations to places like Disney World.  In fact, the biggest vacation we ever took during my childhood was a road trip in a 1976 Winnebago to Mt. Rushmore in the Black Hills, South Dakota.  And that was fine with me.

Needless to say, I’ve had kind of a bad reaction to all the folks who have told me how amazing Disney World is.  In fact, I’ve even had people express disbelief that I could actually be a functional human being without having been to one of the Disneys at some point in my life.  Guess what: I’m a normal human being.  My family just didn’t have the money to do that stuff.  I turned out alright.  Actually, I think I’m better for it.  I don’t want to come off as some kind of self-righteous anti-Disney snob, but I balk at the idea that an experience at Disney World/Land is an essential part of a kid’s growing up experience.

My wife, on the other hand, has been to Disney World four times and has fallen in love with it.  Contrary to the way that I was not a Disney kid, she was.  She idolized Cinderella and wanted to be a princess; she fell in love with all the characters and wanted to be Minnie Mouse; whatever.  The point is, that she is one of the folks who believes that, although it may not be essential to a kid’s growing up experience, a visit to Disney World can be a great part of a kid’s life.

Our differing perspectives have caused no small amount of marital discord and difficulty planning our activities whilst in the Sunshine State.  Nevertheless, I relented and we visited Disney World on this, our free day, from the NAB Triennial Conference. 

Now that I’ve been to Disney, I can’t say I’m too impressed.  In fact, my impression of Disney World is basically that it is a more elaborate version of Valley Fair.  Admittedly, I’m not really into amusement parks in general, or rides or roller coasters (nor have I ever been), and I was never really into Disney stuff as a kid.  Of course I knew who all the Disney characters were, but I never had the toys, stuffed animals, t-shirts, or anything else.  I didn’t even really care for the movies or TV shows that much.  I was more into riding bikes, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Star Trek, and baseball when I was a kid.  So there is probably a disconnect that exists that limits how excited I can even get about something like Disney World (then again, I’m not much for Valley Fair, or even the State fair, for that matter).

One thing that did stand out to me, though, was how the good folks at Disney have seen fit to strip you down and shake every dollar you own out of your pockets.  There is a fee or charge for everything Disney.  And anything you might actually want, or even need, to buy is exorbitantly priced.  Our lunch today was from a café that served Burger King-quality food, from which we purchased a hamburger, cheeseburger, hotdog, three French fries, and two pops.  Total price: $33.00.  It wasn’t even that great of food.  Given the price of admission, the parking costs, the food costs, and all the merchandise costs, they must be raking in an amazing amount of money there every day. 

Overall, though, it was a fun trip, and I think the kids enjoyed it (illness and lack of sleep may have hindered their ability to have as good a time as they might have were they in good health and spirits).  At least now I know what all the hype is about, and what I supposedly missed out on as a kid.  But I’d still like to go back to the Black Hills some day!